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 Should You Stay The Course If You Don’t Like It, Because You Have A Family?

[ 3 min read ]

Should you stay at a job you don’t like / continue to climb the wrong ladder, because you have a family?

No.

Should you make enough to support your family?

Yes.

You can do it at your current job, or you can do it at a different job. Doing odd jobs is also OK if you make enough. You don’t need a steady job.

If you can’t try anything new because your steady, well-paying, “secure” shitty job is an obstacle, you should audit what you spend money on, find out what your family’s realneeds are, and eliminate everything that is not absolutely necessary.

  • TV — not absolutely necessary,
  • car — in many cases not absolutely necessary,
  • current square meters per person — in many cases not absolutely necessary,
  • current standard of living — in many cases not absolutely necessary,
  • eating out each day — not absolutely necessary (and probably too expensive),
  • all those bills — in many cases not absolutely necessary (negotiate to reduce them!),
  • current services — in many cases not absolutely necessary,
  • new services — in many cases not absolutely necessary,
  • new absolutely necessary services at a standard price — in many cases not absolutely necessary (negotiate to reduce them!),
  • all the money service providers take from you on a monthly basis for extra stuff and you don’t even know about it — not absolutely necessary (terminate them),
  • expensive private schools — not absolutely necessary,
  • expensive summer vacations — not absolutely necessary,
  • expensive winter skiing — not absolutely necessary,
  • new clothes — in many cases not absolutely necessary,
  • a 15-minute hot shower each morning — not absolutely necessary (take cold showers — they are better for your body and much shorter — you save)
  • credit cards — in many cases not absolutely necessary,
  • credit cards (until you eliminate them) with the standard bank charges — in many cases not absolutely necessary (negotiate to reduce them!),
  • loans — in many cases not absolutely necessary (pay them back ASAP and eliminate the cost associated with them),
  • expensive cosmetics — in many cases not absolutely necessary (if you have a skin problem OK, otherwise forget about them),
  • smoking — not absolutely necessary,
  • alcohol — not absolutely necessary,
  • hanging out with friends on Friday night in dance clubs — not absolutely necessary (reduce, agree on a budget each month),
  • entertainment — in many cases not absolutely necessary (reduce, agree on a budget each month),
  • your current pay check (and workload) — in many cases not absolutely necessary (can both be reduced, say, 20%? more?)
  • … (eliminate, reduce, negotiate, set budgets — that’s how you get yourself out of the rut you’re in),
  • I’ve almost forgotten — who else in your family can work (but doesn’t) and why wouldn’t they work?

Should you just quit and go back to school to find a job you do like?

No.

That’s not how you find things you will enjoy. That’s how you spend additional money on things which might not suit you. You repeat the mistake from your late teenage years / early 20s, when we picked something because well-meaning adults told us that’s the way it should be done.

Simply think of something you would like doing each day and start doing it. It doesn’t matter if you’ll get paid right from the start or not. If you don’t get paid, find something where you will get paid and do both (or keep your current job, if it’s possible — if you still have some energy left when you leave the place after your workday is over).

Be ready to work your butt off! It won’t be easy. Such changes are not easy. But they are possible.

You know when they are impossible? When people want to keep their current standard of living and transition to a new career. That’s being unrealistic and a guarantee that the person will fail.

And one last thing — your family will be probably better off with less (if you’re at least middle class, that is), meaning not keeping the current standard of living, but seeing that you are excited each day, and not hating the prospect that you have to go to work again.

And you’ll set the best example for your children. Better than you would being rich but unhappy.

They might not be happy with the changes at first. Give them time to adjust to the new reality. Talk with them about it, tell them why you think the changes are necessary.

I don’t know whether your family will support it or not, but none of us should be crippled (or guilt-tripped) by the fact that we have a certain standard of living, and that our families got used to it.

Letting it cripple you, or letting them tell you that you can’t change it now, (because they enjoy their cozy life so much), is like handcuffing yourself.

They will continue to enjoy it, but will you? Will you be OK living your shitty life, so that they can enjoy the current standard of living (luxuries)?