Something Doesn’t Add Up Here
What Makes Children Turn Out The Way They Do (And Can We As Parents Just Stop Giving A F*ck?)

The #1 thing you should know before heading off to college

[ 3 min read ]

You should know why you want to go there.

Is it to study something you’re excited about and actually care about, or is it to get a “practical” college degree and then get a good job that will give your parents (family) a peace of mind?

That’s the question you should remember when you are in college too.

Our parents love us and want the best for us. But they also want the best for themselves.

What does it mean?

It means they want you to have this so called “practical” education, which will give you the best job prospects and them a peace of mind.

Yes, parents want a peace of mind.

That you’re a successful young person.

That you are not lost.

That you are not left behind.

That you have enough money to have the same lifestyle they have.

That they did a good job raising you and giving you the best education.

Parents love their children, and we are so focused on this fact and so convinced that whatever they do, they do for their children’s best interests (that it can only benefit their children), that we forget that they have their own needs and interests.

Parents want you in so called “practical” career, because they don’t want to watch you struggle in life. They want you to thrive.

To me choosing a “practical” career because it will give you a “better” life, and because it appears to be the “wiser” choice (because you will have all those job opportunities, which you won’t have otherwise) is the worst a young person can do. It’s the least practical thing young people can do. Many of them will make this huge mistake and satisfy their parents’ needs, and forgo their own.

The punchline is the following.

If parents want a peace of mind they should provide themselves with it, and they should not use their children for that purpose.

Besides, our chances of surviving in this world don’t go up just because we’ll do what our parents tell us. They’re just panicking and that’s all.

They like to think that their children will only fare well in their lives if they follow the script they (the parents) offer them. But that’s nothing but a nice story in a parent’s head.

They can’t know what will happen to their children if they won’t follow this script. They fool themselves that they are able to predict the future but, in fact, they aren’t.

Their children, on the other hand, sooner or later will buy into those messages because, ever since they were little kids, they’ve been trained to live in fear. Fear of the future.

The reason why they end up doing precisely the things which their parents tell them they should do (in order to be “successful”) is simple. They are afraid that if they won’t follow this script bad things will happen/ their future will be screwed up. But the only basis for this conclusion is their belief, which developed thanks to the messages with which their parents polluted their young minds.

There is no evidence whatsoever which would support the thesis that able, ambitious and hard working young people who believe in themselves and do in their lives the things they choose (and reject their parents’ “advice”/ refuse to follow their orders) will have miserable lives.

As a matter of fact, I never heard of even one person who trusted himself/ herself consistently, always believed in himself / herself and in what he / she was doing, made his / her own life decisions, persevered in the face of difficulty, and hated his / her path.

And why is it so? Because, since we were little children, beating the odds has always been one of our best experiences. That’s the closest we can feel to being Superman or Wonder Woman.

If you want to study physics or history, study physics or history. Don’t worry about the “practicality” aspect of this choice. Why? Because people who do in life what they love / enjoy (and you can start by studying what you like/ enjoy — not what is considered “practical” by your parents) will always have a better life (they will enjoy it, not their parents) than the people who had to forget that they had this dream (of becoming an actor for example) and chose a “practical” thing which put their families at ease.