[ 6 min read ]
My Author Journey, Friday, August 11, 2017
# 954 (countdown)
Today I realized for the first time how many beautiful places are in this city. I am amazed by the number of those places!
This july marked the 10th anniversary of my moving to this city with my family (wife and son).
Up until now I knew the most touristic places plus some places I visited either accidentally or deliberately (alone or with my family or with other people).
Also I realized that I am very excited about those walks. I wait for them just as I wait for my writing sessions. That’s a good sign. That’s a sign that I need to stick to it.
I sent my mom links to my photos on flickr and told her that she might send them to our friends in New York. I wonder whether she opened the link and saw them and if she did see them what she thinks about them. I didn’t call her to check this with her. Will call her on weekend and find out.
Not that I care about her opinion (or anyone else’s opinion for that matter), I’m just curious. My opinion is the only thing that matters to me. Other people like them, great! Other people tell me they’re crap, great!
As long as I enjoy taking those photos I will continue to take them and to be able to do that other people’s opinions can’t affect me. If I did it only if people liked what I did, it would mean that I’m people pleaser. And it would mean that I am a piece of shit, not an artist.
Actually it’s easy for me not to care about what people think about me and my work. I am aware of the fact that you can never be liked by all people. Some people will like what you do, some people won’t, and still others will not give a damn. That’s the way it is, always was, and always will be. We can’t hope that what we do will be liked by everyone, it’s impossible. Therefore we shouldn’t care about what anybody thinks about our work because quite accidentally it might happen that the first people to come in contact with my work will hate it and tell me how bad it is, or that I should find myself a different job/ occupation.
I want to feel like Vivian Maier, not being crippled by people’s opinions about your work and lifestyle. She and David Wojnarowicz inspire me the most. She because she took those photos and almost nobody even knew about it. Some of those photos she took, she didn’t even develop. She knew that she enjoyed the process enough to keep doing it every day for years on end. She was very attentive (in other words she had this special talent of being where the action was) so she was able to spot all those opportunities for a great photo (things most people don’t see). And she must have liked her own photos, she must have been convinced they were good (and that with time they could be even better).
That’s my take too. Today I’ve viewed some of Maier’s photos and learned from her. I even took a couple of photos inspired by what I saw on her photos. But I’m not trying to be her. I want to be inspired by her, but I want my photography to reflect me and show the unique way I see things.
(40 min; on ).
This caught my attention:
Again today, all this morning I’ve thought about J.P. and Brian and past and present relationships and realize I have to stress to any and all persons I become involved with that I must be able to do what I wish, it is my life and my senses and it can be called selfishness, but I absolutely have never been able to put myself in a position where I deny chance and other ways of movement, whether over distances and landscapes or in lovemaking.
It’s the settling down that is so difficult; choosing one form excludes all others, the only answer is not choosing at all but merely moving under one’s own will; this is something that angers many people, that many people find faulty and that many people say is an avoidance of responsibility; maybe so but then again I am alive and I am continually distracted by movements around me and alternative things, continually looking searching for traces of my life and others amongst the landscapes.
The difficulty I have at times is in wondering whether to trust my vision—my image and view of things and why they exist, rationalizations, you might say. I realize the ease with which anyone might find reasons to support whatever viewpoints they hold or to support whatever actions they may wish to make … How more or less true or real is this from any alternative way of seeing or believing?
Listening to audio.
(15 min, on my scribd app).
One episode of.
One episode of.
Progress on my second book. 1,5 hours worth of editing. A good day.
Meditating: 10 minutes (before falling asleep, on Headspace). Fifth day in a row now.
My today’s answers on Quora:
My today’s post:
Music for this writing session:(on spotify).
My today’s route.
My today’s favorite
My today’s photos on flickr Warsaw,