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In the park | 957

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My Author Journey, Tuesday, August 8, 2017

# 957 (countdown)



Back at my favorite Starbucks store.

I liked this day. I could read David Wojnarowicz’s diary again (it means I got back to my regular daily schedule).

I could take a short walk in a park after my morning writing session and visit some places I’ve never been before.

This is the second time since I started this diary 43 days ago that I skip a day. I didn’t write anything yesterday. Couldn't do it after driving a car for 4,5 hours and sleeping for only 5 hours each night in the last couple of days (maybe even the whole week).

David Wojnarowicz didn’t write his diary each day. Gary Vaynerchuk skipped a day or a couple of days although he calls the episodes of his vlog Daily Vee. I think it’s not so important that you write your diary or upload your daily vlogs every single day without exception. Show up every day and do the work - even a small amount if it’s your summer holiday or a weekend or you travelled a lot and are exhausted. But do something every single day. This is sacred. I can’t even imagine not doing it this way.

But if you didn’t manage to squeeze in some time for your diary or blog THAT’S FINE. Write or shoot that next episode next day or even two days later.

Today I’ve been experimenting with fasting. For the first time in my whole life. I didn’t eat a regular meal for 24 hours. I ate my last meal at 8pm yesterday, woke up at 4:30 am had some coffee plus a very small piece of homemade cake (really small). The whole day (until 8 pm today) I had a second coffee and some water. I didn’t eat a regular breakfast, didn’t eat lunch. I ate late supper at 8 pm. All in all I felt good throughout the day. I didn’t feel anything alarming. I could function just as well as when I had all those meals during the day. As a matter of fact I guess until 5 pm I felt better than I normally feel when I have breakfast and lunch. I’m glad I tried it. The next time I’ll try it I’ll eat nothing (not even a really small piece of homemade cake) and I’ll fast for a longer time (36 hours).

Yesterday I watched my photos of New York and selected my favorites. I’m of the opinion that those are pretty good photos if you consider that I don’t have professional camera. I shoot my photos with my newest generation iPod Touch (by the way I bought it in New York for that purpose back in September 2015). I use nothing else. No additional accessories. Nothing. Just this iPod Touch with 8MP iSight camera.

I never thought of buying one of those big cameras like Canon EOS or Nikon D. I didn’t think of myself as of a photographer. I shot occasionally and never obsessed about the quality of my photos. Like a real amateur. Even a couple of months ago when my neighbor started shooting photos “for real” and bought professional equipment I thought to myself that I’ll never need an expensive camera.

But I started this diary (this author journey) and thought I’d supplement it with my own photos and after a couple of weeks was hooked.

I still think my iPod Touch does a great job but I’m beginning to have those thoughts “Can I call myself a photographer if I shoot my photos with an iPod Touch? Isn’t it naive to think with this kind of device I can be a photographer?”.

Almost without regard for the conventional definition of a photographer I purport to be one. My take, I am one. I take photos every day and that is what photographers do. Do I need my MacBook Air to be able to call myself a creative? Hell no! I probably need it to be perceived by others as a free thinker and a creative but I definitely could be one even without this computer. I use it because it’s thin, lightweight and elegant. And I like the simplicity that is the hallmark of Apple products.

So I guess I can call myself a photographer even if I use iPod Touch. I could be a photographer who only uses iPod Touch or iPhone (or other smartphone). Why not? The quality of photos is more than decent. The built-in cameras are probably much better than the digital cameras we could buy some 20 years ago when digital photography was in it’s infancy.

Truth be told in June this year (just a few days prior to starting this diary) I had a chance to shoot with Nikon SLR camera for two days. I shot using only auto mode and I must say I enjoyed the experience. And the quality of photos was better especially in darker settings.

I think of buying a DSLR camera. It will probably not happen soon as I have limited funds, but who knows … maybe I’ll set up a Kickstarter campaign. I never tried it and I know people support creative people (people who are passionate about their work and who try to add value to other people’s lives through their work) so why not at least try it.

Today I set up my flickr account. I’ll upload my photos there. Didn’t know they give you 1 TB space to begin with! Great! I already added some of my photos of New York and other places.

This is my favorite photo I took in New York’s Central Park.

IMG_5991 copy

It looks like a painting! I surprised myself. As it’s usually the case I snapped in a second without pondering (I saw the picture and bam). I never thought I could take such a magnificent pic.

Maybe I have a talent for photography? Maybe I should continue to do it? Maybe I could never know it if I never tried it? Maybe the fact that I took my first photos with an iPod Touch doesn’t matter? Maybe I shouldn’t care if I am a photographer according to someone else’s definition? Maybe my talent is what really matters? Maybe the fact that I enjoy taking those photos enough to make them every day is what really matters? Maybe my photos can be just as good as those of Vivian Maier? Maybe I can think of myself as an artist (photographer) even without being called an artist (photographer) by others? Maybe it’s up to me, not them? Maybe I shouldn’t be discouraged by comments and mockery? Maybe I should be the one who believes in it, even if nobody else believes in it?

Maybe people’s opinion (the fact that some of them say I’m naive, unrealistic, a lunatic, to think I can be an artist, that I don’t have what it takes, or that it’s too late, or that I know nothing about it, or that there are other people who are better than I am) doesn’t matter? Maybe we should be able to do what makes us happy and don’t care if others agree/ approve of it/ believe in it?

Maybe that’s precisely what we should believe (because otherwise we have no chance)?

We should believe in ourselves. We should believe that we are capable of making great things too. And we should continue to do those things which we enjoy and stop doing the shit we don’t enjoy.


In the Shadow of the American Dream: The Diaries of David Wojnarowicz (30 min; on scribd app).

Listening to audio.

The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon (15 min, on my scribd app).

YouTube videos:

One episode of Casey Neistat’s vlog.

One episode of Gary Vaynerchuk’s DailyVee.

Jack Ma, Alibaba Group: Stanford GSB 2015 Entrepreneurial Company of the Year


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Progress on my second book. Two hours’ worth of editing. Today I felt like I will be able to do it. Publish it timely.

My today’s answer on Quora:

Answer to How do I get away from my verbally abusive biological mother? I am a 30 year old woman and she is 58. Living in the same house is jeopardizing my health and safety. But I am unable to shift due to family and societal pressure.

Music for this writing session: New York, New York by Frank Sinatra (various versions) (on spotify, on repeat). Then Empire State of Mind by Alicia Keys (on spotify, on repeat). Then New York, New York by Frank Sinatra (various versions) (on spotify, on repeat).