[ 2 min read ]
Many people expect to hear nice little bullshit stories about themselves, our species and the world around them, because that’s their understanding of positivity.
They believe that we will change the world that way.
They think that spreading all those lies, nice clichés, convenient “truths” is our job if we want the world to be a better place. And then they’re in great shock when something bad happens.
That’s not what positivity is according to my definition, spreading such bullshit. Positivity doesn’t mean I can’t question anything because I might upset somebody, like for example say that we’re not that nice a species.
Nor does it mean that, as a person with positive attitude, I should, in the name of our common good, spread lies, nice clichés, convenient “truths” because (according to most people) spreading them will make us a better species and the world a better place.
Sorry, but I don’t subscribe to this wishful thinking. Telling ourselves such nice-sounding stories will not change who we are (even if all people did it). We will always be a mix of “good” and “bad” and both “good” and “bad” have a potential of coming to surface under certain circumstances.
Positivity means that I believe I can always do something about the situation I’m in (or choose a different, empowering or more empathic narrative) and that despite the fact that we’re not as fantastic a species as we like to think we are (we can do a lot of damage to each other because we want to protect ourselves and our clans and have our needs met, and we always do it as human beings, not because we lost some characteristic of a human being or turned into a beast, like most of us like to think), and that the world isn’t all love and peace (never will be), I accept that and don’t expect it to change merely because I (and a bunch of other people) wish it was different, and I decide that I’ll learn to navigate that very space trying to be more mindful (which will help me be happier and also less judgmental and less violent towards others), and rid myself of all those ridiculous expectations that often end up making it unbearable for us to exist.
I believe that only accepting those facts (instead of constantly confusing ourselves by pushing this nice-sounding version of the world which is based on our wishful thinking) is the best starting point towards feeling at peace in this world and avoiding all sorts of mental problems, being disappointed, etc. I also believe not fooling ourselves (not being biased and so delusional about the world) would also make it easier for us to work out our differences and different interests / needs.