Special awareness (we all would hugely benefit from it, especially young adults who are being told that they shouldn’t upset adults)
[ 2 min read ]
We assume that other people (our parents, children, spouses, other family members) won’t be able to handle “bad” news (oftentimes it is not bad news, it’s just unsettling news — one which poses a threat to the current “reality” / status quo) and we want to shield them from it. Young people are especially concerned with that because oftentimes they’re being told by various adult members of their families that they shouldn’t upset grownups.
Why do we assume that they won’t be able to handle it? Because A/ we’ve been warned (that we shouldn’t upset those people), and B/ we know something about ourselves (human beings) — by the way, those who warned us also know it.
We know that normally
- we are weak
- we like our comfort zones more than anything in the world
- we don’t like to be upset
- we expect not to be upset
- we feel entitled to not being upset / disturbed by others or by a sudden change of circumstances
- we expect that favourable circumstances will last
- we expect that unfavourable circumstances will not last
- because we feel entitled to not being upset / disturbed by others (we want to live in those cozy bubbles, or bubbles which aren’t cozy, but are something we accepted and are familiar with), we also assume that we should not do things which might upset others (like for example come out as a gay to your parents)
- we are fucking scared
- we jump to conclusions too quickly (instead of pondering stuff, especially the “bad” stuff that happened in our lives) — hence we almost always fail to realize the hidden value of those “bad” experiences.
We need special awareness to change that in us. It won’t happen just like that.