Special awareness (we all would hugely benefit from it, especially young adults who are being told that they shouldn’t upset adults)
The editing process and movies | 810

Standard (obvious) questions vs the other (neglected) questions

[ 5 min read ]

How are children affected by watching their parents argue?
How are children affected by never watching their parents argue?

How are children affected by growing up without a father?
How are children affected by growing up with a father?

How are children affected by growing up without a mother?
How are children affected by growing up with a mother?

How are children affected by the fact that their parents divorced?
How are children affected by the fact that their parents didn’t divorce?

How are children affected by growing up in a dysfunctional family?
How are children affected by growing up in a well-functioning family?

How are children affected by the death of a parent when they were still very young?
How are children affected when none of their parents died when they were still very young?

How are children affected by being dyslexic?
How are children affected by not being dyslexic?

How are children affected by being left-handed?
How are children affected by being right-handed?

How are children affected by being immigrants?
How are children affected by not being immigrants?

How are children affected by having immigrant parents?
How are children affected by not having immigrant parents?

How are children affected by being from the minority?
How are children affected by being from the majority?

How are children affected by having been put up for adoption?
How are children affected by not having been put up for adoption?

How are children affected by not knowing their biological parents?
How are children affected by knowing their biological parents?

How are children affected by having a father who is an alcoholic?
How are children affected by having a father who isn’t an alcoholic?

How are children affected by having a mother who is a drug addict?
How are children affected by having a mother who isn’t a drug addict?

How are children affected by having ADHD?
How are children affected by not having ADHD?

How are children affected by moving homes/geographic locations frequently?
How are children affected by not moving homes/geographic locations frequently?

How are children affected by too much screen time?
How are children affected by too little screen time?

How are children affected by having been bullied?
How are children affected by never having been bullied?

How are children affected by being exposed to violence?
How are children affected by not being exposed to violence?

How are children affected by not being hugged?
How are children affected by being hugged?

How are children affected by being yelled at?
How are children affected by not being yelled at?

How are children affected by emotional abuse in their homes?
How are children affected by the lack of emotional abuse in their homes?

How are children affected by feeling they were the least favorite children among their siblings?
How are children affected by feeling they were the most favorite children among their siblings?

How are children affected by being abandoned by their biological parents?
How are children affected by not being abandoned by their biological parents?

How are children affected by getting spankings?
How are children affected by not getting spankings?

How are children affected by having poor parents?
How are children affected by not having poor parents?

How are children affected by seeing their parents struggle?
How are children affected by never seeing their parents struggle?

How are children affected by having seen their parents fail?
How are children affected by never having seen their parents fail?

How are children affected by having seen their parents lose their job?
How are children affected by not having seen their parents lose their job?

How are children affected by their parents’ lack of conventional success (or other kind of success)?
How are children affected by their parents’ conventional success (or other kind of success)?

How are children affected by their parents’ lower status among people?
How are children affected by their parents’ higher status among people?

How are children affected by having worst grades among their peers in school?
How are children affected by having best grades among their peers in school?

How are children affected by not knowing their grandparents?
How are children affected by knowing their grandparents?

How are children affected by not being able to brag about anything?
How are children affected by being able to brag about stuff?

How are children affected by growing up with a smartphone from an early age?
How are children affected by growing up without a smartphone from an early age?

How are children affected by having a terrible teacher?
How are children affected by not having a terrible teacher?

How are children affected by not reading much?
How are children affected by reading a lot?

The questions we ask (because we’re worried) result from our assumptions. We assume that certain things will be bad for the child and certain things (usually the opposite) will be good for the child.

What if it’s just bullshit? What if none of it really matters as much as we think it does?

What if we’re biased to view certain scenarios as unfavourable and certain others as favourable (because such is the conviction which developed in our culture and right now people buy into it without questioning it)?

What if either way is fine if we forget the bullshit narrative that everybody should live in a cozy bubble and if it is not the case, the live of that person will be doomed?

What if what really matters is when parents assume that their children won’t be doomed if B (the scenario which we view as unfavourable) happened instead of A (the scenario which we view as favourable).

What if prior to meeting people who will tell us how all those “bad” scenarios screw up people’s lives (and we will meet them 100%) we will know that it’s just another convenient excuse, and that people believe this bullshit because they assumed (erroneously in my opinion!) that people can only win in life if they lived in some version of that cozy bubble and nothing and nobody bothered them (which we’ve learned to perceive as “good scenario”, as most people in the society)?

What if the assumption that it should be this cozy bubble is plain wrong?

What if life is never about living in one’s cozy bubble and being protected from the “bad” stuff? I think life is never like that bubble and expecting that it should be will be the single most important factor leading to people’s mental breakdowns and other serious conditions that will paralyse them.

Everything does something to you. Everything! You don’t even know what exactly it does to you because you have assumptions as to what should and what shouldn’t happen, based on what is generally believed in your culture and what story child development specialists in this country feed you.

The things which we perceive as bad do (can do) many good things to us and vice versa — the things which we perceive as good do (can do) many bad things to us. But we have no idea. Why? Certain assumptions plus tunnel vision.