[ 3 min read ]
Maybe we should err and wander and be lost and go through different states of our mind all the time?
Maybe that’s the nature of life?
Back and forth. Back and forth.
I think obsessing about being lost means we’re delusional. Again.
We assume that we shouldn’t be lost and sometimes (when everything seems to be in perfect order — family, friends, love, marriage, career, money, religion, all of it just as it all should be) we believe we’re not lost. How the heck do we know how it all should be?
We don’t want to be lost because we’ve been brainwashed to believe that being lost is bad, something we should avoid at all costs, but I think that, paradoxically, when we think that we aren’t lost (because we have no reason to believe we are, i.e. we believe that we have a total control over our lives and know exactly what we’re doing and where we’re heading, and couldn’t be more certain and right about everything that we’re doing, and it’s what we’re supposed to do or the right thing to do) we’re lost the most. Like really, really lost. That’s the state of an utmost lunacy.
There are many people in this world who follow every damn instruction in their lives, do what is expected of them, listen to their parents or other family members, emulate their peers and other members of their circle (because they’re scared that doing anything else, anything new, might result in being lost, because they’ve been warned that anything else is risky and that being lost in life is not what they want), believing at the same time that such behavior should guarantee that they won’t be lost in life, that that’s a recipe for not being lost. Unfortunately, between their 40s and 90s, many of them realize that following these instructions wasn’t a good idea.
We’re always lost. We only assume that sometimes we’re not lost — usually when everything seems to work perfectly / be in perfect order (what is a perfect order and who decides that it is a perfect order?). What if this assumption is wrong?
What if it’s impossible not to be lost in life? Wouldn’t it be way more practical to assume that we’re always lost? Never again would we obsess about being lost.
Do we really know where we’re heading? Do we really know how it will all play out? Do we really know when it will all end for us? Do we really know where we will be, what we will do, and with whom? Can we predict such things? Can we rely on our predictions? Of course I don’t mean later today or tomorrow. I mean in 5, 10, 20, 30, 40 years.
What if we’re basically lost all the time, but there are periods when we don’t realize it because we have some bullshit story in our heads which covers it up. And because we have this story in our heads we tell ourselves “Now you’re doing the right thing” or “Now you’re not lost”, but it’s nothing more than our belief. Can we really always know that we’re doing the right thing? Can we really be always 100% certain that our decisions are the right decisions?
Or, to look at it differently, what if feeling lost sometimes (or even quite often), i.e. not knowing what to do next, where to go, is a natural part of life? What if we expected it, instead of dreading it and wanting to avoid it? We dread it and want to avoid it because it’d been portrayed to us as something bad, unwanted, detrimental.
What if we simply admitted that we’re lost? When we realized that we all are (lost), essentially, we wouldn’t feel bad about being lost, would we? It would no longer be this big deal. We would no longer beat ourselves up or bitch about life.