Being a writer. Being an artist. Being full of shit. | 778
Pure entitlement

On alternative past scenarios (and the error most people make)

[ 3 min read ]

Yesterday a woman wrote a comment under my answer on Quora where I said that one can neither choose passion (if you already have passion, you have no choice and those who, like this lady, believe that it is still possible, don’t know what passion is), nor one can have regrets (if you still believe regrets are reasonable — I for one don’t, as most, or even all regrets are the product of our wishful thinking) after one did what was his or her passion for a while.

She said that all I said there was crap.

When she commented on this answer for the first time (some 2 weeks ago) she disagreed with me and gave her arguments. She said “I did pick passion, and regret it, as it has left me pretty broke with no security.”

Then I disagreed with her on that. Didn’t find it necessary to elaborate on that as I had already done it in my answer and I would be just repeating myself. Usually repeating yourself is nothing but a waste of time.

Yesterday she found it necessary to write me again. Probably because she couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that someone disagrees with her obviously reasonable way of thinking. And so she added some paragraphs to what she had already said earlier.

She wrote me “that’s crap lol” and “that only really works as a theory”.

She is of the opinion that you can have regrets even though you may have followed a career you loved (passion). And she claims that she knows it because it was something that happened to her.

She advises choosing wisely. That’s her advice for people with passion.

So to me there is no doubt that this woman doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She has no idea what this thing called passion is.

Of course, she wrote angrily “don’t tell me, what I did all those years was not my passion. Or that I can’t have regrets in hindsight, because I should have jumped into a better financially stable job, instead of being passionate and poor.”

To which I wrote “Helle, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I don’t agree with you on that. I think what you’ve written is total crap. But don’t worry — it’s just my opinion, so my believing that it is total crap doesn’t have the power to actually turn it into total crap (objectively — for all people). Just like your comment is only your opinion and doesn’t have the power to do the same with anything I (or anybody else) said or wrote. But some people like to think that they do have such power. I laugh at them. They’re the worst kind of lunatics.”

She wrote also about her unfortunate, as I understand, relationship, and the life she could have had she not been in a relationship with that person.
“Do I regret spending so many years due to the passion I had with this person? Yes and no! But mostly yes because again, I would be in a much better place today”.

To which I wrote: “You could be long dead too. In this alternative reality that you described as being so perfect.”

So many people believe these fairy tales that are in their heads. How their lives would be better today if only (if only in the past they had made a different choice — picked a different career, city, partner, school, etc.). They never assume that this alternative reality might have been worse. This assumption (that shit and unfortunate choices wouldn’t happen in this alternative reality) is so ridiculous. It baffles me that so many people don’t realize how silly it is to assume that this alternative reality (their lives) would be so perfect. I call it wishful thinking.