The hallmarks of 1980s upbringing
Gaining respect at school

We always fear only our vision of what will happen, not the real thing

[ 2 min read ]

Whenever we tell ourselves I can’t do that because this move will put me (and my entire family) in a very bad situation and we will have no money to pay the bills and buy food / lose everything / end up on the street we’re acting like we knew what will happen in the future. We’re acting like prophets. And we’re not prophets.

If we really were prophets finding a solution to the crisis would be like a walk in the park — we could just play one lottery after another and never worry about money.

Problem is not many of us are such geniuses at predicting the future (I, for example, don’t know even one person who could do that). However, I know many people who can, with total confidence, say things like I can’t do that because this or that will happen and this or that will be impossible.
We’ve already written all those dark scenarios in our heads and convinced ourselves that what we predicted will happen, when matter-of-factly we have no idea what will definitely happen should we do the scary move.

We never really know. Even if we know one or two things because that’s pretty obvious and it doesn’t take a prophet to know them (we will not earn money the same way anymore, we will not be at the same job anymore, we will not be with the same person / around the same people anymore) we don’t know dozens or hundreds other things that will happen to us in the near and more distant future. Which is why we can and we do always fear only our vision of what will happen, not the real thing.

Plus we always assume that certain unfavorable circumstances will persist and that’s why we’ll be doomed. And since we’re quite certain that that’s what our lives will be like (because we naively believe in our ability to predict the future) now it’s starting to scare the hell out of us.

And when we’ve accidentally lost our job (or something else is suddenly missing from our lives which was this all important part of it — thanks to which it all could work, according to our conviction) we can quickly lose all hope and self-confidence, and we will be paralysed by those unfortunate events, and it’s starting to be a downward spiral for us. Which of course means that we actually are doomed.