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Why I stopped caring about my life purpose

[ 3 min read ]

Actually, I don’t know if I stopped. Maybe I never really cared.

I thought about it and was trying to answer this common question (What is my life purpose?) for myself. But did I care if I’ll be able to answer it? I don’t think I really did.

What if what we call our life purpose is bullshit? I mean, how can we know that we actually uncovered it? Ok, I can say to myself, and succeed at convincing myself, that I am the Messiah or that God had sent me to earth to fulfil some special mission, or that I was born for something, etc.

But how can I verify if this particular thing I called my life purpose actually is my life purpose? Maybe I’m telling myself a yet another little bullshit story? We do it over an over.

What guarantee do I have that I didn’t invent some nice-sounding or convenient bullshit, and from the moment I had this revelation my brain is constantly trying to substantiate this story? I look for things / signs which could help me validate my story and at the same time I pay little or no attention to things which could undermine my conviction. Because that’s what we usually do (probably because that’s how our brains operate).

We define it, our life purpose. We like something (enjoy some activity) and we call it our purpose. It’s not something that is universally true. We invent it. Some people may say it’s bullshit. Whose opinion will be more important?
Do we need to know what our life purpose is? What if nobody has it. What if all we can do is invent one. But is it more than just our invention? I doubt it.

Why not enjoy what we’re doing (if we managed to have found this thing) and forget about wanting to find out whether or not it is also our life purpose.

I actually think that knowing what my life purpose is can become my problem.
It will cripple me like the career choice all of us make in our late teenage years and then assume that since we acquired this label we will have to stick to it.

If I believe that I uncovered my life purpose (I had this revelation and am convinced that what I’ve just called my life purpose — after I had realized that it must be my life purpose, that I must have been born for this — really is my life purpose) then I might have a problem once I no longer enjoy this thing on a daily basis. I mean, how can I know whether or not I will enjoy it 10 or 20 years from now? Or a different example. If I’m a ballet dancer and reached the age when I no longer have this ability to dance and perform like I used to a couple of years before (my body is ageing and there is nothing I can do to stop that process — let’s say we talk about a situation which is right now, not some future optimistic scenario, 50 or 100 years into the future when we might be able to do something about it) then my conviction that I was born to be a pro ballet dancer will cripple me and could easily lead to some sort of a mental breakdown. I potentially have 30 or 40, or 50 years of my life in which I will be unable to do the thing which is my life purpose. Unless I forget about it (that being a ballet dancer is my life purpose) my life will become unbearable. And once I’ve forgotten about it, once I’ve freed myself from this belief that being a ballet dancer is my life purpose, it no longer is this single life purpose of mine and I won’t be crippled in the same way most people are when they think that they can only have one career in their lives.