[ 3 min read ]
Nobody deliberately chose to exclude or target certain groups of people. It’s a normal dynamic in any society. Even, or especially, if we’re on a lookout for a scapegoat. The people who become the scapegoat never belong to the majority. In other words, the majority will never make themselves a scapegoat.
It was a pure chance that people who are straight don’t need to struggle the way gay people struggle. Or that white people don’t need to struggle the way black people struggle (in countries dominated by white people). Or that believers don’t need to struggle the way atheists struggle (especially in countries where there is a strong Catholic or Muslim tradition). Or that men don’t need to struggle the way women struggle (taking into account strong traditions in many places — the understanding of the roles of men and women). Or that the native inhabitants don’t need to struggle the way ethnic minorities struggle. Or that most non-artists (those who picked a conventional, scripted life) don’t need to struggle the way most artists (people who defy the convention) struggle.
Of course, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work towards making it better (giving those who struggle equal rights and chances), but expecting that every group, every minority will be treated (should have been treated) equally from the get go is ridiculous — a wishful thinking. It means that the person doesn’t understand the basic dynamic which is present in every community.
We will always want to know who is “normal” and who isn’t. We’re always comparing ourselves to others and we’re always on the lookout for weirdos (those who don’t fit in). It’s how we’re wired. Maybe it will evolve and in some very distant future we will not do that, but right now that’s precisely what we do.
Do things the way it’s “always” been done in this culture (circle) and nobody will pay much attention — people will have no reason to talk. Do something which defies the convention and you can be sure that people will talk, gossip (and it has a very good chance to become a scandal).
I think people would do better if they stopped pitying themselves because of that. In any society there will be some groups which will, for one reason or another, be predominant (and those people will have it easier, which doesn’t mean that their lives are automatically better) and people who are minorities and need to struggle.
Being bitter or depressed because of that won’t help us. Neither will pitying ourselves. What will help us is the realization that it’s normal in any community of people (that’s our “flaw” / trait). That those people didn’t pick us. It so happened. It so happened that I am in a group of people which behavior isn’t deemed as “normal” and that the “normal” majority will always have the power to exclude certain people who fail to validate their view on life or mimic them, not the other way around. Of course, the power can shift (the majority will become the minority and vice versa), but not always. And thus oftentimes it’s better to assume that it will never shift.
Blaming the society for doing it to us is futile in my opinion. This dynamic is present and as long as it is present there will be the majority and the minorities and the minorities, not the majority, will always be underdogs. As soon as one reason to treat someone differently becomes unacceptable (becomes a taboo) there will be a new one. And even if it is a taboo it doesn’t mean that this taboo cannot be broken — in tough times people will care less about taboos. In good times we can tolerate taboos, in tough times we will not hesitate to ignore them.
Thus expecting that in a regular society each minority from the get go should / will have rules, principles, procedures and messages which consider them (that all of it will take all their differences into account) is unreasonable to say the least. That’s not how the society works. And it will never work this way.