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If you have controlling parents (and it pisses you off)

[ 2 min read ]

The solution to your problem lies not in changing your parents’ behavior / habit (or nature — whatever makes them the way they are; it really doesn’t matter what it is), but in learning to ignore these remarks and doing it your way.

Attempting to stop them may seem like a reasonable thing to do but it is not. You are not in control of their behavior. They are. They need to stop. So it is a very, very bad idea, trying to stop them.

Paradoxically, when you’ll learn to ignore all their remarks, advice and threats and all other stuff that comes out of their mouths and when they’ll realize that it’s for nothing, they might stop (they will see no point). Whereas as long as you’ll choose to notice this crap and be upset about it (fail to ignore it) they might assume that if they pushed just a little harder you might yield to them. There will always be hope. They will see the point.

Besides, you don’t want to be told what you should or shouldn’t do. Do you think they will be thrilled to hear what they as your parents should or shouldn’t do, from their child? Really? So lecturing them about parenthood is a bad, bad idea.

Let them do whatever they want. Just don’t listen to them and don’t try to argue with them / convince them and explain to them why you don’t need to listen to them. Just ignore whatever they say and assume that no explanation is needed. They will probably feel that explanation is needed (because they don’t want to give up so easily — so it’s pretty obvious), but know that you don’t need to explain your decisions to people and they don’t need to understand your decisions. Ignore this advice and your life will be miserable.
And remember, ignore their wishes, not them. It’s doable.