We can’t help it (on judging and comparing)
The benefits of struggle. Part 1 | 796

Why those who think that their past choices ruined their lives are always wrong

[ 1 min read ]

Nobody is capable of ruining their lives understood as the he interval of time between birth and death by a poor, or, very often, simply unfortunate choice or decision.

It’s this (seemingly) poor, or, very often, simply unfortunate choice or decision, plus this bullshit, ludicrous fairy tale they tell themselves over and over (how good their lives would have been if only they had picked option B instead of option A), which is the result of their wishful thinking, plus the debilitating narrative they’ve built in their heads around their entire being here, i.e. about ‘life’ understood as the interval of time between birth and death (how f*cked up it is, all of it, how they’re doomed, and how only different, i.e. “better”, “smarter”, choices in the past could make their lives better, but because they can’t go back and be 20 years old again, nothing can be done about their lives right now. It’s such a crap, this way of thinking!

And it’s a classic self-fulfilling prophecy. If they, in their 30s or 40s or 50s (or whatever their age is) have this debilitating image of themselves and their lives, and consider any attempt at improving their lives pointless, what results can they expect? In such case the only thing which could help them would be an extreme luck. But the vast majority of people aren’t extremely lucky, so their chances are really small (if I’d say they’re nonexistent I wouldn’t err much).