[ 2 min read ]
The assumption that shit shouldn’t happen.
The expectation and the hope that it won’t.
It’s the thing that will bury you.
Shit is an integral part of everyone’s life.
The assumption that shit happens only to you, and that it doesn’t happen to others is ridiculous. You think that you know a lot about the other person, but you never know the whole story. Shit isn’t something people talk about much.
People talk about successes. Shit, they talk about it only if they want others to pity them, when they need to vent, or when they try to find a solution to a certain problem. Otherwise shit is taboo in most interactions among people.
Who wants to hear about shit anyway?
The reason people don’t like to hear about other people’s shit too much is that they have their own shit. They like to know that shit happens to others, that’s for sure — we don’t like to be alone in something. But, when you don’t seek it yourself (understanding, company), then you will most likely want to avoid being a shoulder to cry on for all people you know.
When we meet with others and are in a mood to have some fun or a good time with friends we prefer impersonal shit (new dumb regulations, a dumb teacher, something that happened recently at school and shocked most parents, etc.). We also like good news and successes.
Private shit is the last thing we want to hear, or discuss. Don’t we all have our own private shit to care about? Which doesn’t mean we will not talk about shit that happened to us individually. We will, but everybody will soon switch to things which are our common misfortune, trouble or misery (as opposed to our individual shit) — we will search for the common denominator, like for example the government, the taxes, or the school system.
There is no denying that sharing and hearing about private shit isn’t our favorite pastime. Life’s too short, many would say. But this fact alone (that we prefer to focus on other things) doesn’t mean that shit is absent from anybody’s life, or that it’s very rare. It isn’t. Whether we like it or not, or whether we like to talk about it or not, shit is a fixture in our lives and this isn’t going to change.
Is there a reason we shouldn’t expect shit? Of course there isn’t. We have no reason to expect that shit won’t happen. Expecting that it will happen, on the other hand, is very reasonable. But who thinks about it this way?
Somehow most of us prefer to hope and assume that shit won’t happen. In other words we expect that it won’t happen. And because that’s our expectation we are disappointed and greatly upset when it does happen. And because sooner or later it will happen (we cannot not see it — it’s everywhere, in everyone’s life, it’s inevitable), we could reasonably expect that we will be disappointed by the occurrence of it (which, quite obviously, should in turn eliminate the surprise factor and the disappointment, perhaps even the great upheaval).