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I am not a reasonable man | 775

The truth happened | 776

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Diary of an artist, Sunday, October 14, 2018

# 776 (countdown)

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Copy of Adulthood smooth& tasty.-11

Woke up 4:00 am.

Spent the most of the day in a court of law yesterday. Know the building quite well. It’s the same court of law where I fought my battle against the Ministry of Justice of Poland in 2012.

After I had finished my 3,5 year long training for future attorneys I had to pass the state exam and the Ministry of Justice was responsible for conducting it and then also verifying the exam papers of all wannabe attorneys. Those who passed the exam became attorneys. Those who didn’t could try again next year (and then a year after that, and then again a year after that, etc. — can’t remember how many times exactly they could retake it and I don’t think it really matters, besides the law could have changed ten times since then and that’s why it doesn’t matter).

In Poland there’s a second profession which is basically the same as an attorney and there were even ideas to merge these two, but as I’m writing it the separation still remains. Probably too many people would lose their lucrative and long held positions if these two actually merged. And it would be something new, so naturally there is resistance. Anyway, I was trained for the other profession and the exam also was for the other profession. After you had passed either exam, joining the other (parallel) profession was still possible and it wasn’t a problem (you just needed to do the paperwork and you’re in — at least that’s what it took back then).

When I’m writing in English I prefer to keep it simple and talk about my attempt at becoming an attorney. Even the people who represent both professions say that the division is nonsense and are probably already fed up with needing to explain to people the slight difference which needs to be there in order to justify the division (and to keep both organisations alive, and the status quo within them). An attorney is the word most people understand and they know what such person does (I mean outside this country) so I use it when I tell my story.

We (I mean the background actors on yesterday’s set) were told to sit and wait in the very court room where my case was heard in 2012.

I argued that I should have passed the exam. They maintained that I shouldn’t have passed it. I had a strong case. A guy in the other part of Poland passed the exam and the way he tackled the problem which was assigned to all of us (everywhere in Poland) was the exact same way I tackled it and I didn’t pass it.

The main reason why I didn’t pass, they argued from the very beginning, was that I tackled the problem the wrong way. So, had there been logic in their actions, I should have also passed the exam (or the other guy should have fail in it too), despite slight differences (of course our papers weren’t word for word the same — they couldn’t be). But what mattered was the solution I offered (the manner in which I decided to tackle the problem, not the exact wording of it — after all we weren’t auditioning for a role).

The whole battle lasted some 2 years and the court hearing in this court of law was the last part of it. By that time I and my attorney cornered them and it seemed unthinkable that they could do anything to win the case (without deciding to act in totally ridiculous manner). And that’s precisely what they did. They decided to play fools (or they were fools — I’m not sure which one, but I believe the former), and the arguments they presented obviously contradicted each other. The writings they submitted were of the lowest quality possible, ridiculous in their argumentation — a complete bullshit. It only showed you how little they cared — I had this unmistakable feeling that they already knew they would win regardless of what I would write and they wanted it behind them ASAP) and it was all a farce and they won the case.

As I was entering the court and the court room the memories from 6 years ago flashed through my head. In a short while I relived the farce again. Then something lingered — felt the strange ambience of this place. To me it will forever remain the place where one of the most ridiculous things in my life happened, but also where the truth happened.

Six years ago the thing shocked me. Today it doesn’t shock me at all. I understood the truth. If someone’s position or interest is threatened and this someone has a real position of power (or can still choose to defend their own interests — however unimportant or ridiculous they may seem to you) the majority will chose to act in their own interest. Of course, we can always hope that some people will behave differently, but they will always be the exceptions to the rule, not the rule. The minority that will never become the majority, let alone all people. Besides some interests are intertwined and often people will conclude that their hands are tied — that if they could they would have acted differently. But since they couldn’t (too much was at stake)… sorry.

Reading (since my last diary entry):

Screams from the Balcony by Charles Bukowski (60 min, on scribd app).

What Shall We Do? by Leo Tolstoy (60 min, on scribd app).

Fire in the Belly: The Life and Times of David Wojnarowicz by Cynthia Carr (60 min, on scribd app).

Audiobooks (since my last diary entry):

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov (60 min, on scribd app).

YouTube videos and movies (since my last diary entry):

An Education (on HBO go) Finished it.

Tess (on HBO go) Finished it.

The other side of everything (original title: Druga strana svega). (on HBO go) Finished it.

More Than Enough (original title: Good After Bad). (on HBO go) Finished it.

Remembering the Artist: Robert De Niro, Sr. (on HBO go) Finished it.

Taking Chance (on HBO go) Finished it.

Music for this writing session: Imagine Dragons (on spotify).