Who decides who fits in and who doesn’t? On being a misfit.
On taking advice from people I wouldn’t take advice from

Ever thought your life would have been better had you been childless? You need to read this!

[ 3 min read ]

Parents who regret having children make the same dumb mistake which most people in the world make.

They believe that in this alternative reality (without their child/ children) their lives would have been better. That their lives could have been only better. Never worse!

They look at their life, then they imagine the same life (everything is the same in this life before the child is born, or before certain events that led to the birth of the child happened). Then they imagine all the fantastic things they dreamt about and how all of it would have been possible in this different reality of the world (without this child / those children).

It is a wishful thinking which is based on nothing but pure lunacy. They’re lunatics.

Why the wishful assumption that their lives would be so much better?

Why the wishful assumption that their life before the child was born, or before certain events that led to the birth of the child happened, would have been the same (as good/ fortunate as it actually was)?

Why the wishful assumption that they would have been born in a place where people enjoy their basic freedoms?

Why the wishful assumption that apart from this one thing (or several things which they would fix) other things would be perfect (the way they want them to be)?

Maybe it is foolish to assume that a state is possible when everything just clicks in our lives and we make only fortunate choices, and this is a permanent state? Maybe it is foolish to think that avoiding this one mistake (unfortunate choice / decision) would mean our lives would be so awesome (so much better)?

I think it is foolish. We fool ourselves that everything would be so much better in our lives if it were not for this one decision.

What is it based on, this wishful assumption that everything would just click?

If certain things could have been different in our past (B happened instead of A — because that’s what we’d prefer), why the hell other parts of this past should have stayed the same? Why?

Maybe you would have been killed by a serial killer or died in a most unimaginable, stupid way? Maybe instead of doing things that led to having a child you would have killed someone because you had to check your Instagram while driving or because you’ve fallen asleep while driving? Maybe in a fit of rage your father would have killed your mother (or vice versa) and your happy childhood and adolescence would have been replaced by years of fear, anxiety, mental problems of all sorts? Maybe you would have died of cancer at the age of 25? Maybe your partner / spouse would have cheated on you?

Why not? Why not one of the above scenarios? Why is it that people always imagine everything would be so much better? Only better. What exactly is it based on? Someone had promised them something? Or maybe they’d experienced some revelation? God had spoken to them and assured them that shit will not happen in their lives? They had found some ancient stone or gold plates on which it was written?