[ 4 min read ]
Diary of an artist, Thursday, November 15, 2018
# 767 (countdown)
Woke up 3:10 am.
This girl I met, the 21 year old, she told me that at 21 she has time. That’s what most people believe. However, most people don’t drop out of college (or take a break if they don’t like it and try to figure themselves out — I misrepresented it in my yesterday’s entry by saying that she dropped out of college).
Most people believe that when you’re in your early 20s you can be bold. That it’s permissible to take risks when you’re very young (some would even encourage young people to do so — they would say things like “It’s the time to be bold”). That you can allow yourself to do things differently for a while and because of that give your parents and family a slight headache by not being certain and by not sticking to something you picked.
But there comes a time when young people should stop being careless and start playing it safe. There comes a time in each person’s life when he or she shouldn’t be bold and take risks. There comes a time in each person’s life when members of his or her family should be able to breathe a sigh of relief knowing what this young person will do in his or her life. They (the family) were patient for a while, but now they know that it’s time to do it the way it should be done. The way the majority did it. Grown-ups should know what they will do — they had enough time in their childhood, teenage years and early 20s to figure it out. And because almost every adult they met asked them what they wanted to be when they grow up they knew what was expected from them.
It’s almost as if people owed it to members of their families to figure themselves out by a certain age, or, if they failed to do so, at least stick to one thing so that members of their families don’t have to worry.
I don’t believe that there is ever a point when the only thing that’s left for you is to say “I no longer have time” or “If I were 10, 20 or 30 years younger I might do it”. It’s this belief (that you can only switch to something else when you’re very young, that the time to be bold is only in your early 20s or in your 20s) that’s holding them back in their lives. A bullshit belief. A cliché.
“At 21 I still have time” is a bullshit cliché people repeat after others. It leads to believing that there will come a time when you’re be already too old for something you want. Of course it pays to check if what you want is at all doable and if you’re not being completely delusional — at 80 you won’t become a pro soccer player, so when on your 80th birthday you woke up and thought that you might become a pro soccer player sorry but it’s not gonna happen). But how many of us are ridiculous enough to have such dreams? I’d say not many. And those who do are probably being kept in some sort of asylum and cared for already.
“At 21 I still have time” is a sign you have bought into this crap which holds most people back in this world. You still have this conventional approach to life. You’ll do what the majority of people did before you, what the majority preaches, and what your family expects from you. You will mimic them. Like a fucking automaton! Why not “As long as I’m alive I still have time”? Of course it takes guts to be able to say it.
Reading (since my last diary entry):
by Charles Bukowski (20 min, on scribd app).
YouTube videos and movies (since my last diary entry):
(on HBO go) Finished it.
Stan Lee, Marvel Comics Creator, Dead At 95 | NBC News
How to Prepare for the Economic Collapse | DailyVee 501
Do You Have the Stomach for the Storms? Complexcon 2018 | DailyVee 499
Taking a Risk Isn’t a Waste of Time — Gary Vaynerchuk Closing Remarks
Bet on Yourself | A Gary Vaynerchuk Original Film
Music for this writing session:(on spotify).