Humans of Quora on work, achievements, success, age, and sense of urgency. Part 1 | 730
A man moving at the pace of a sloth at Shell gas station. (In praise of not looking)

Humans of Quora on work, achievements, success, age, and sense of urgency. Part 2 | 729

[ 30 min read ]

Diary of an artist, Wednesday, March 27, 2019

#729 (countdown)

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Copy of Copy of Adulthood smooth& tasty.

Woke up 4:00 am

Today part 2 of this separate piece I called “Humans of Quora on work, achievements, success, age, and sense of urgency.”

Just to remind you, in it I present my answer to the question which was posted on Quora on November 17, 2016 I am 38 and I have not achieved much in life. Is it too late? and comments which people wrote after reading my answer to this question. Today I edited out completely comments in which people complimented me on writing my answer and in which I thanked them, and left only those comments in which people presented their opinions on the topic.

Today I post only comments. For those who didn’t read my answer — it’s in my yesterday’s entry.

Certain separate thing happened in those comments which I find worth your attention. Especially those of you who are creators (if you create anything and put it out there for people to see) might find it interesting / helpful. Obviously not everybody agreed with, or liked what I wrote. Some people openly admitted that my answer pissed them off. But one person stood out. A dude called David S. (won’t use his name — even if the name he gave on Quora isn’t his real name) wrote a comment in which he said that my answer was very unhelpful. I wanted to write him back but couldn’t see anything I could reply to, so I told him that I couldn’t see the point. After reading that the guy got mad and called me stupid or something (can’t remember exactly). Then I wrote him that insults will never work with me. So he wrote an even meaner (actually an obscene comment), and then another one (also very mean). In other words, he displayed a behavior typical of a ‘hater’. After his first obscene comment I refused to engage, so he didn’t have anybody he could attack anymore (he must have seen it as pointless — I made him see it as so). He tried with his third mean comment, but then stopped. Then, a day or two later, all his mean comments disappeared. I guess someone else must have reported those comments to Quora Moderation and they deleted them, or, also possible, he himself deleted them after he had calmed down). I called it ‘David S. thread (how hate perishes)’ — it’s near the end.

Comments

Kevin Kavanagh · Nov 22, 2016

Your in an amazing place life begins at 40. It’s time to read Think and grow rich. In this book it explains to you why your in the right place at the right time and explains if you follow the information shared in this book that you will most likely achieve more in your life than that in the past. It’s time to get excited, get a goal, get a vision and take massive action. See you at the top

Tom Anthony Belsham · Nov 26, 2016

Life begins at 40, not sure about that one?
I’m probably looking at it too deeply but these kind of comments I find irritating.

Michelle Long-Dercole · Nov 23, 2016

I really appreciated your words. I know I have done a lot with my life but I have the same habit of wondering if it’s enough due to the fact I’ve never been aknoweledged for my achievements. I know I will never be a great artist or world class runner or anything of a higher career order. Not because my view of the glass is half empty but more of the fact I am a healthy realist. To me the glass is not half full or empty, it’s just a glass of water. I must everyday value the fact that I am doing what I want to do and I try to enjoy the things in life that mean the most, being ethical, kind and enjoying my time with my kids. I’d much rather die knowing that I was a loving person, an awesome parent and being missed for those qualities than being known for a job. Your comment really brought me comfort.

Heidi Bohanan · Mar 1 , 2019

It seems to me that you seem to be looking for a purpose for your life….or a sense of purpose. At first being a lawyer was fulfilling to you….until it wasn’t. Now you are wanting something more meaningful. Money isn’t happiness. Being with those you care about and who care about you is. Find a job you love. One that teaches you and helps you to become more of what you want to be. I work at a job where 98% of the time people are happy. I enjoy what I do. I am also a single parent raising 2 boys. They are also my happiness…. But the true contentment comes from within. I know who I am and why I am here. I know what I am supposed to do and I know where I am going. I hope this helps.

Sharon Sampson · Dec 31, 2018

I’ve got to add, one is never in ‘control’ in life. You are simply the rudder of a boat completely vulnerable to every little mishap if you think you should be in ‘control’. Learn to play the game. Don’t be surprised to be a ‘loser’…there is nothing one can do to ensure NO FAILURE. Sorry, but true. Learning to ‘go with the flow’…being curious, having humility and an open mind will steer your boat towards safer shores? Gag…anyway. I sure hope you are a reader. Without reading and entering and entertaining other people’s views and reality makes your reality inflexible. One and only life. Money is NOT HAPPINESS. Being rich is not happiness. Being able to handle whatever FLOWS your way is the test of brilliance. Diversity versus specialty. Get over what others think, like right now!

Norma Padro · Dec 20, 2016

That was your success in life. If you didn’t want to keep being proud of your accomplishment then it’s all up to you. You have achieved a very important personal success. It’s so true that it’s no one’s concern what you have achieved. Sometimes this is all that matters to a lot of people. I have never understood that. It’s so sad that no one can see a person for who they are. I wondered why this painters were never found out back then, but then again societies are not as art oriented like today. My art may not be like Van Gogh’s or Davinci’s, maybe in a few hundred years they will find it and sell it for food. I haven’t really sold any of my art for millions of dollars. It’s just a dream when we put our work out there and hope people will find it and buy it. It’s a dream to be successful, but it’s what you do with it if it becomes real. Not many have used their fame and fortune to better themselves. Some have destroyed themselves in the process. We are the fortunate ones to see the outcome of success for some.

Paul Nessinuet · Nov 26, 2016

Look at the life of Vivian Maier — Wikipedia

Bell Bouvier · Mar 8 , 2019

You are very brave and inspiritional, Lukasz. My father has always considered me a failure for not having a successful career. I want to write as well. I wish you the best of luck in your writer’s journey.

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Mar 9 , 2019

Hi Bell and thank you! I guess most people who know me now and knew me as a young adult in my late teenage years and my 20s either consider me a failure or think that I’m not doing much with my life (but could), or are puzzled. Including my family. My son who is 12 years old is probably the only one who thinks differently (but that’s a very young age and people usually think differently when they’re that young — we’ll see how this develops in him). I guess my father would be devastated if he knew me now (he died 11 years ago) — but that’s only my assumption (could be wrong). But when he was still alive he didn’t have much faith in my own abilities. He believed I needed to be held by the hand, or else I will screw it all up.
If you want to write, please promise me you’ll start. I can help you start if you want. Let me know what the obstacle is (if there is any) and I will do my best to help you remove it.
Thank you for your kind words and wishes, and I wish you the best of luck in your journey (whatever it will be).
PS. You have a lovely picture on your profile!

Pat Brown · Dec 2, 2016

By whose measure? Your own. At 40 you still have to to do whatever it takes to make you feel accomplished. There are some things that will become more difficult to do by the time you’re 55 regardless of how good your health might be. You want to hike across the countr? Do it now. Change careers? Do it now before age discrimination gets into high gear in your life. Have a whole lot of kids? Now is the time. I could go on, but I’m sure you get my point.

Pranut Pati · Nov 22, 2016

Unbelievably courageous in real life as per me. I could not shake off memories of my peak times as an IT consultant where as now I could not because of stroke I had. Relinquishing a well paying well respected profession just like that needs not just balls but also mind control.

Abhishek Vidyarthi · Nov 24, 2016

Your problem is stemming from the desire to have social approval. You took the decision basis some sound reasoning I hope , even if it was an impulsive decision it still was your own decision, moreover I would say just focus on the constructive side of this life. You never know what you can become .focus on the doing part. That’s it

Agnetha Kelleher · Nov 22, 2016

Lukasz, if you have have lived your entire life without getting into trouble, having a criminal record or being a bad person, then you (or anyone else for that matter) is not a failure. You may not get fame or fortune but if you live a decent life and stick to your values, you can count yourself a success.

Robert Goldstein · Nov 26, 2016

I have a criminal record am I a failure? Who are you to judge anyway?

Agnetha Kelleher · Nov 26, 2016

I am in a perfect position to judge, Robert, as I have never broken the law. Naturally, I am not perfect because like everyone else I am human but as far as criminal records go, my take is this: You chose to break the law so I have no sympathy (unless you were genuinely framed or had a good reason such as murder in self defence).

Robert Goldstein · Nov 26, 2016

That’s ridiculous. You tell me your flaws and mistakes and I guarantee there’s plenty I haven’t done. But unlike you I wouldn’t judge. I’m not a holier than though type (I was but I grew up).

Agnetha Kelleher · Nov 27, 2016

Robert, I never said I had no flaws. I have an evil temper for one thing (and I also have Asperger’s Syndrome). Neither am I holier than thou, as you put it. But (with a few exceptions) crime is a lifestyle choice.
Thank you (and everyone else) for your feedback though, you are entitled to your opinion, whether or not I share it.

Christian Heath · Nov 27, 2016

Lol, this is one of the worst responses I’ve ever seen on Quora (responding to Agnetha)

Anne Sarah · Nov 26, 2016

omg. really. Please. What about people who are put in prison for spending times in mental ill health ? I’m not going to get in an arguement with you here but everyone deserves a second go.

Robert Goldstein · Nov 26, 2016

People like that who like to judge need people like me to make themselves feel better. I don’t care and you’re smart to not waste your time arguing with her.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Anne Sarah · Nov 27, 2016

This, my friend, does not define you. I am sorry that you have had an experience of what others think is punishment. They have no idea. I just get so Angry when I hear judgements like …”eeeekkkk…JAil..something that is not in my frame of thinking……”..Robert, I am proud of you that you are vocal. I dearly hope that you live your life well, I believe that you are a little too intelligent for others…….I personally been in therapy for years and years, This is what has helped me move forward to meeting my soul mate and what I want to do. But it’s not for everyone. I hope that you find something like ….a job, or a motorcycle or teaching a class…or something that keeps you being kind, loving, and proactive.

Cynthia Cerna · Jan 5, 2019

As a former convicted felon, I’m used to judgemental people like you. Luckily, I was granted First Offender’s treatment and had my felony conviction expunged after completing a 10-year suspended sentence. I won’t get into too much detail, but it was an improperly diagnosed personality disorder, along with postpartum depression, that was key in landing me in jail. Nobody, including myself, ever thought I would end up incarcerated. I can’t tell you how many times employers and colleagues are surprised to hear about my felonious past. For the longest time, I was made to feel deeply ashamed because of people like you. Fortunately, not everyone is so black-and-white in their thinking. If they were, I’d still be unemployed, broke, or even dead. Not many people bounce back from a felony conviction like I did. It took many years to get where I’m at now, as a self-sufficient professional. Believe me, I paid my dues and suffered great losses. Recidivism rates are high in the U.S., mostly because of hardliners like yourself who don’t think people like me are worthy of consideration and only see us as the dregs of society. Consider that even Martha Stewart was a felon. Yes, you are entitled to your opinion that I’m a failure, but in my own weird way, I’m a success story.
Peace.

Iain Owsiany · Dec 3, 2016

You’re a perfect example of authoritarian bigotry, feeding into the stigmatization of criminals as automatically bad people. Do you have any idea about the history of criminalization in America? That the 13th amendment, while freeing slaves allowed for the virtual enslavement of criminals? Why do you think America has more “criminals” than anywhere else in the world? BECAUSE IT’S BIG BUSINESS!!! FREE LABOR!!! I guarantee a number of your household goods were made in prison sweat shops, including parts of the computer your typing on. But I bet you feel good about that don’t you? Looking down on “criminals” makes you feel real good about yourself, huh? I wonder who all else you look down upon to boost your self-image. Furthermore, just because you follow the law does not make you a good person. You would have made a great slave master 150 years ago because the law allowed it, raping and pillaging to your law-abiding heart’s desire. This country’s history is full of unjust laws, and full of ignorant fools like you who mindlessly follow them with no real moral conscious at all.

Susan Krautbauer · Dec 3, 2016

Life is just beginning at 38. Since then I have explored 2 different careers and enjoy where I am at currently too. Check out http://shiftonline.org smd Home — Encore.org to get more details, tools and personal case studies for others that have pursued a fulfilling career in their second half of life! Go for your passion!

Rose Mint · Jan 16, 2017

Nice and very true that you do not need to fulfill someone else’s expectations of where you need to be at a certain age. You live life once. Live it doing what you enjoy and be safe.

Mike Lee · Nov 26, 2016

best relationship with your mom, is it because now your mom and you feel it will be best never to go into court again? Try suing your mom a few more times and see if you two will still be in a best relationship… I wonder…

Elena Kokorina · Jan 5, 2019

Thank you for your post. I can relate and I think it is very important for others to hear something like that. Because often we take certain routes for the only reason to impress people and get their approval. And it does not mean that there is something wrong with that as long as a person understands what is truly important to him or her at the end.

Fragmentary Girl · Nov 25

Thank you for writing this answer. Often, we are conditioned into believing that the purpose of our lives should be fixated on making our parents proud, and that our career choice should align accordingly. I have read quite a lot of answers on Quora itself, where people have written about pursuing prestigious careers because parents should be one’s first priority. And sometimes, I feel I’m selfish that I care more about my dreams than theirs. But I guess, one can’t really sow a dream in another human being; that’s expectation. Just feeling a sense of relief after having read what you wrote, I think I was somehow looking for an approval.

Sha Lan · Nov 25, 2016

I read your post and I thought I knew where you were going then you lost me. By the end of your post I realized what you were trying to accomplish.
You have not gotten the accolades you thought you would have in life by now.
You realized you have accomplished many things but your still not special. Lawyers tend not to be, even when they graduate law school at 24.
You are going to change tactics by listing all your impressive achievements but preference them with a “it’s not important” humble brag.
You know this will provide a wave of comments from strangers that will praise and admire you.
You will get your accolades after all.
You will write books about how great and accomplished you are and how you have decided that your greatness was wasted so now your eating, praying and loving all over the globe
That book will bring more accolades and more people will know about your greatness because your published.
And you will have managed to convince others and possibly even yourself that you did it for reasons other than to be “famously special”

Christian Heath · Nov 27, 2016

It’s spelled “you’re,” and you’re right… he lost you.

K. Davis · Dec 30, 2018

I failed at starting businesses and life made it so that no matter how hard I tried, how smart I was, how serious I was, things could never get off the ground. At 40, I experienced success for the first time. All of my previous failures, though painful, contributed to the circumstances that allowed for this endeavor to succeed. It’s always a risk in progress, even if it doesn’t look or feel like it. Not giving up is the best thing I did for myself. It’s never too late.

Maja Henriksen · Jan 4, 2019

By flexing with your success, I think you will cause the OP to feel even worse about him feeling like a failure. I couldn’t read through to find the actual point in the post cause most of it was along the lines of “oh, I got rich and successful at half the age you’re in now”. As a lawyer you should know how to construct your statements so they have better ring. So you should have started with actual advice and then example: “look at me, look how amazing I am whooptedoo!”. I honestly hoped, reading this, is that you will come to the point that being professionally successful doesn’t equal as being happy and fulfilled. But to each their own.

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Jan 4, 2019

Maja, I’ve got this feeling that you entirely misinterpreted the message that is in my answer. It happens. I don’t claim that my writing is for everybody.

Frederico Barreto · Jan 8, 2019

If you ever doubt your approach and your decision, check out the work of Gary Vaynerchuk

Dale Clark · Nov 22, 2016

i commend you on saying this! Be happy in what you do. Enjoy life. It’s shorter than you know, and most of us will be forgotten in a generation or two. Donot take it so seriouy, none of us are getting out of it alive.

Amit Juneja · Jan 5, 2019

Charles Goodyear died destitute and remarked, “A man has cause for regret only when he sows and no one reaps.” It’s certainly a good thing when one manages to not die destitute, but there is something to be learned from Goodyear’s quote.

Khanyisile Buthelezi · Dec 2, 2016

Wow, that was like reading about my own life. That career change saved me from that dreadful trial lawyer syndrome! Among many lessons about achievements, I learned to relax and delight myself in all those precious life moments. Thanks Lukasz, your words are appreciated.

Helen · Dec 31, 2018

I started working at 24 and did a switch in career after 10 years. For the first 10 working years, i was pretty much living from pay check to pay check and was not enjoying financial freedom. Despite objections from family and friends, I did a career change in my mid thirties which is late compared to the peers in the industry. I’m Glad to say that I’m enjoying a certain level of financial freedom now.
This said, it is not late for you to try out a different path in your life and venture out of your comfort zone should you want to.
Take heart knowing that you are young and time is on your side.
I wish you all the best.

Andy Tan · Jan 6, 2019

The thread replier (lawyer at 35) is just stating that Nothing is too late in this life and quite famous people whom had “achieved “ only at very later age of 100 years old so he had even quoted himself as an example that he changed field from a lawyer after 15 years .

Đội Đá Vá Trời · Dec 19, 2016

I’ve just graduated. I can’t look for a right job with my university certificate. Then i became a worker with a lowest salary in society. Although the worker is a popular occupation. I tried up and i won’t become a good worker. I got two claiming report from customer. If that thing happen again i’ll be kicked out company. I afraid that i won’t care for myself. I’m a burden for my parent. But when i read your comment i feel better now. Thanks for that. I’m a vietnamese. If i have any wrong english gramar please fix it. Thank again

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Dec 19, 2016

What is a “right job”? What do you mean by that?

Đội Đá Vá Trời · Dec 20, 2016

I mean that my major is enviromental management. And i coundn’t look for a suitable job with that.

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Dec 22, 2016

What if you worked in environmental management and hated it? I mean how do you know that this would be the right job for you? Maybe it’s not worth obsessing about? Why did you studied environmental management?

Jenni Giro · Dec 30, 2018

It’s never to late to chase your dreams. It depends on what makes you happy in life. Not having a big company making millions does not make you a failure in life. Your able to maintain? provide for yourself as in adult? A roof over your head? Food on your table? That is an achievement in it self. We take the simple things in life for granted.

Patrick Daniel · Dec 2, 2016

As somebody who left my career in one of the big corporate law firms as 32 (to start a website nobody will ever read!), I approve this message!

Marc Weisman · Jan 1, 2017

I’ve commented a lot on other posts today so I’m just going to say look up the bio on colonel sanders from Kentucky fried chicken

Ann Marie Hake Hughes · Mar 6, 2019

as someone who was successful at a young age, you are not qualified to discuss this. you dont understand the struggle. Im fifty and still nothing yet. you seem to think it just eventually happens. it does not.

Lily Grace · Mar 8, 2019

It’s never ever too late to do anything in life. My life began when I hit 40. I had my first operation, I passed my driving test, I moved out of my parents house and I had my first proper relationship so if I can do all that then you can carry on achieving until you die. Good luck.

Alfred Aquino · Jan 9, 2019

Jordan Peterson’s Rules for Life #4: Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.

Kapish Saini · Jan 10, 2019

Never give up Whether you are 38 or 83! Just take rest and start again.

Lonzell Wilkes · Dec 21, 2016

It depend on what you choose to be according to the being of you!

Jude Quadros · Jan 5, 2019

Just one line — you have achieved everything if you are happy and you have contributed to make this world a better place…

Natasha Veronica · Jan 16, 2019

Although this is 100% true, our curiosity as humans will always ask ourselves the what if question. What if I could become…It’s quite sad.

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Jan 18, 2019

There is a second set of ‘what if’ questions. Not that obvious, but very legitimate.
What if I was never born?
What if I was born under dictatorship?
What if I was an orphan since birth?
What if I was born disabled?
What if I picked a different career but was equally unhappy?
What if I picked a different career was happy as fuck but died at the age of 30 (of cancer, or in a car accident)?
When most people ask ‘what if’ questions (and have regrets) they somehow forget that in any alternative reality shit would have happened too. Million things could have gone wrong in an alternative reality. We have regrets only because we don’t factor in that things would have gone wrong in an alternative reality.
I’m not saying we should be always satisfied with whatever we had / have, with the kind of life we had / have (because it could have been even worse or even nonexistent), and just sit and watch, accept everything and be passive. No. But thinking / dreaming that our lives could have been only better if this or that happened (past, present and future), asking ourselves what if I had picked this instead of that, studied more in youth, etc. makes no sense at all. Why? Because there is zero guarantee that in this alternative reality we would have been born in the first place.
Going back to our 20s for example (because that’s the time to which most people would like to return) would mean also that there is a huge chance (close to certainty) that we wouldn’t have existed. Any regret thus must be pointless. Which means we can only do something about our future. We can only make changes here and now and reasonably (very reasonably) assume that if we’re lucky and won’t die we will be able to benefit from these changes.

Natasha Veronica · Jan 18, 2019

Yes but it is also us desire as humans to strive to be the better version of ourselves. I find it quite conflicting human nature. The balance is to keep working on personal growth, but also to be content. I can understand why that is a difficult combination.

M. Wryter · Jan 6, 2019

AN INTERESTING READ ILL SAY. HOWEVER AT 73 I LOOK BACK IN MY OWN LIFE AND HOW I FELT I HAD TO DO THIS OR BE THAT OR ACHIEVE THIS, BUT LOOKING BACK ON IT ALL NOW I CAN SEE FOLLY MANY TIMES. I DID LEARN THAT ACHIEVEMENT DOES NOT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE LAUDED BY MY PEERS. TAKE PHOTOGRAPHY FOR AN EXAMPLE. THIS IS MY LATEST LOVE AND EXTENSION OF MY LIFE & I HAVE TAUGHT MYSELF MUCH IN THIS REALM, MADE MANY ERRORS BUT I HAVE SEEN IN MY OWN SMALL WAY A DEFINED PROGRESS THAT FOR ME I FIND I NEED NOT HAVE APPROVAL OF OTHERS AND HAVE WITH IN MYSELF GROWN AND COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT I HAD FOR YEARS A LATENT TALENT THAT NOW IN MY EYES AND YES ALSO NOW IN THE EYES OF OTHERS …..SHINES. I HAVE ALSO FOUND OUT IN LIFE TO THAT WHAT WE ACHIEVE CAN SOMETIMES BE VERY SMALL IN NATURE AND NEED NOT BE GRAND IN DESIGN FOR SELF OR OTHERS AS SOMETIMES THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENTS WE MAKE AND DO ARE THE SMALLEST FOR US AND HOW THEY MAKE US LOOK & FEEL TO OURSELVES…30

David Stoltz · Dec 31, 2018

do what u love,love what u do. provide,don’t
hoard, not even diplomas. i hated being
in an office,where is was expected to be
extrahuman. love life.it’s only one time
around,enjoy,be happy!

Dana Dargie · Mar 1, 2019

Well im 56 years old and i have been married twice now and lived a very hard life.some I have caused to myself and then others not.But i have not done much either traved as a kid all over for holidays But when i left my first wife things went badly for me .Drank alot ran around with loads of women
But Remarried and it all changed for me things got better weight hot lifted and i felt better .Still i feel i have not done emough either but i have 3 kids so i must have at some point .But In the last 20 yrs its been great so dont give up your time tk fine what it is will come to you ok .THINGS WILL THEN FEEL GOOD YOU BE WHERE YOU THINK NOW YOU SHOULD BE YOU DONE WHAT YOUR LOOKING FOR AND THEN YOU GO WHATS NEXT .ITS NEVER TO LATE OR EARLY AS FAR AS I SEE THENS YES I AGREE YOU DONE LOADS ALREADY BUT YOUR JEART IS NOT FEELING IT YET BUT WILL ONE DAY .
GOOD LUCK

Usha Thiyagarajan · Mar 1, 2019

So what are you trying to prove or say here?it sounds more like you need a listening ear than looking for answers.

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Mar 1, 2019

I said what I wanted to say. I think I don’t need to explain it further. I wish I could ask Friedrich Nietzsche the same question you asked me — after reading one of his books. Narcissistic sucker. Way bigger than I am, I guess. Or, on a second thought, maybe I wouldn’t ask him. Maybe his message was not for me. Obviously there are people who understand and revere him. Obviously he wrote it for them. Why the hell should he give a shit if I will understand it? If all people will understand it. And I guess he didn’t give a shit. And that’s the part I do understand (I get it why he didn’t need to give a shit). That’s where he and I agree.

Linda Bucklin · Mar 26, 2019

As a 61 year old artist still working in obscurity, I can’t thank you enough for this.

Jack Ellis · Mar 1, 2019

When I found out possessions are mainly junk that you put in a dustbin when they break, and a schoolgirl intent on killing herself because she messed herself , and is laughed at by her mates. Knowing that everybody will do it before they die. Or teenagers killing themselves with drugs, are what really matters in life . I would say Pray to God, and enjoy life, if you do ok, try and put something back into the world as a thankyou to God. Also because people are what really counts.

Mike Hilchey · Dec 30, 2018

I feel ya I’m in the same bout I didn’t get into full reading it but what I seen was the first question I’m 38 going back to college end of January to be a barber I know there’s not a lot of money in it but it makes me happy. I still feel lost in the whole situation wondering if it is to late I’m dojng a complete 180 not sure if I’m doing the right thing..

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Dec 30, 2018

It’s only too late if you believe it’s too late. If it makes you happy, you’re doing the right thing.

Mike Hilchey · Dec 31, 2018

Thanks means a lot it’s still pretty scary to just change everything there’s a lot more to this situation then just going to school I’d love to write don’t know much about this site would love to just make a full blog and get opinions I feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to or just even to bounce anything off of.

Jason Deli · Mar 10, 2019

You’re a terrible person to go around to get in situations just to sue people. Worst kind of guy.

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Mar 10, 2019

You know zero about me and the circumstances. But I won’t try to change your opinion about me. Why? Because I don’t give a shit about it. And I also don’t see a reason why would anybody give a shit about it.

Jason Deli · Mar 10, 2019

I used to know a lady who got her law degree in the military from a third tier college that anyone could’ve gotten into and now she goes around and gets injured for money. It’s so sad. She books AIRBNB’s and finds flaws in them and makes a little bit of chump change suing anyone she can. So sad.

Sandi Moreland · Mar 2, 2019

Remember it’s not what one acheives in life. It’s your heart that matters. As long as U R kind compassionate an try to help others. That is what life is about. I personally put GOD 1st then do my best. There is no such thing as too late..U can do anything U want to.. I’ve seen the Elders go to school at age 80 an graduate from Nursing, Law businesses ect..Go for what U want an what makes U happy. I so wish U much love an blessings on your life. Life these days is a great achievement in it’s self..

Diane Montemayor · Jan 6, 2019

Success can be measured in many ways ,it can be defined physically, emotionally,socially, spiritually and mentally. Success definition varies based on human perception.

Clymidia Ponchatrain · Dec 2, 2016

Its too late. Your life is over.

Sylvana Thompson · Jan 6, 2019

Ah but that is easy for you to say because you have already achieved success. Lawyers earn good money which provides security in the form of property and money in the bank. Which no doubt allowed you to evaluate your life and do a 180. And you can now pursue your true passion. Even if it is no longer important to you , for many years you had the sweet taste of success. But what if you hadn’t ? What if you were a council worker , working with a shovel all day making and repairing roads under a fierce sun? What if you were a worker on a production line or a cleaner of toilets or some other menial task? What if you came from a family which had many high achievers and they sneered at you and looked down at you because you did not meet their expectations? Not everyone has the wherewithal to walk out of their job or the skill to take up something else such as art. Many people, because of debt or family commitments, are shackled to a dead end job. No, 38 is not too old to follow a dream (depending on what it is of course) but there is certainly a time limit for many things. To say otherwise is but a delusion.

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Jan 8, 2019

Sylvana, you concluded (based on nothing) that I earned shitload as a lawyer, bought a cozy apartment and paid in full for it, saved up (have money in bank just in case), and then (having this cushion ready) evaluated my life and switched careers (did a 180). None of which is true.
Plus, you called being a lawyer, earning shitload of money, owning properties, having money in the bank a ‘success’. I call it a ‘bullshit success’. To me that’s not a success. It’s what most people view as a success, and how they measure it. I view it differently.
As a matter of fact, I view being a wealthy person with good career more as an obstacle. Why? Because you have a lot to lose (and you believe you should not lose it, that your obligation is to protect it, that should you lose it people will laugh at you, and others will be pissed), and people who consider themselves fathers of your “success” (your parents/ family) also think that you should protect your so called “success” and will be pissed at you should you lose / waste it.

Miller Mikael · Dec 1, 2018

Jesus Christ. That’s the most annoying thing I’ve ever read.

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Dec 1, 2018

Glad to hear that.

Dalius Virbickas · Mar 1, 2019

Exactly agree with you, it is important to do what is the most suitable, but you only can find by trying different things in life.

Dalius Virbickas · Mar 2, 2019

I think it is important to find courage to say no to people who doesn’t care about your life or mine life. It also important to find courage to do what we like in life. In my way there are a lot changes… seems I need to change a viewpoint or work…

Neo Reeves · Jan 5, 2019

Dude 39 is nothing.
There are zero rule books in life.
If you were a Doctor or( fill in the blank profession making all the money) and then stepped out in front of a bus ,guesss what; you died. If you were a regular joe whatever job and stepped out in front of said bus, guess what you still get flattened.
Be better each day and come to terms with what you want out of life and ignore the social pressures that are put on us by family ,friends and the giant companies that run our lives.
Im saying do not let some arbitrary age/number dictate your feelings or paths in life. Life is a journey after all.
Forget the naysayers; I wish you all the will power todo what you want .

Caroline Vervisch · Dec 30, 2018

I could have written this. With 3 Universal dégrées and a nice, very nice career, I had to dismiss at the age of 45 for medical reasons.and I lived for my job.
Now, I followed during last year , a new study to become a therapist in hypnosis. Nothing to do with my live before,
I took my time to look around to check and find what was interesting and challenging.
I didn’t want to be influenced by money. if you can afford it, do the same, would advice.
I can advice you to look at the film ‘the secret ‘ or to read the book! That will convince you that is never to late to do something as long as you believe in it and that you stay positive.
Or look at YouTube ‘dr Joe Dispenza,
You will take easier decision when you quit your job but take in account that financially it’s ok to take more than a year to to think If you start from scratch.
If you can afford it, look for some coaching or friends with whom you can discuss about all that implicates your decision.
I’m sure , you will succeed and find what suits you! Just believe in it!
The most important is to be a good person and to construct a good personality , that’s who you really are
and not a good reputation, that’s what others think of you. Never change yourself for others!

Sharon Black · Mar 1, 2019

I live in Ontario, Canada. There is a saying here: People in Ontario live to work. People in Quebec work to live. In Ontario, invariably one of the first questions asked is, “What do you do for a living?” In Quebec, it’s one of the last questions asked, if asked at all. From what I understand, Quebec (and perhaps places like Louisiana, etc.), are decidedly European, a.k.a., sane in their collective outlook and shared orientation.
Thank goodness some people are tuned in, some people genuinely get it! It is definitely a struggle to get to this place of higher realization, higher awakening and awareness but it is well worth it.

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Mar 2, 2019

I love the attitude of people from Ontario! It’s so rare — unfortunately.

Neha Ray · Jan 6, 2019

Who has the scale with which we measure that we are success or fail in our life. Is there any time limit given to us. There are many people who succeed in public life in too young age but fail in personal life and some of them committed suicide even though they are successful person ! Only believe in yourself live how ever you want to live things happen automatically . if you get depress just look at your phone if there is no network your phone is useless even though it is the latest model of I phone ! So think hard the valueable thing is only your life. we can’t buy a single breath with our fame and name. So don’t think so hard keep working success will come .

Paresh Terse · Dec 8, 2018

Welcome to Wisdom.
Its not how many Rains one has seen in their life, Its how mush you soaked in the rains of your life.
Life itself is meaningless , its those pursuits that one commits to , that brings meaning to your life. You Legal past that you despise, has led to this wisdom. So its not all bad
Life just intended it for you to understand its meaning , from the path you chose to see.
Be happy.

Nihal Hey · Mar 16, 2019

Hey dear,
What I understand from your story is that in course of sueing people you come to a point when you realise who are you ? You sued your mother after realise she is the same soul whom you sued, meaning she gives you the same love and affection even after sueing her.
You simply learned life what is all about it’s not big fancy things, it’s all about small and strong things in life which gives you satisfaction than appreciation from others.
Now you doing what essential and not what required as per the trend.
What happens when someone not able to get married in 20–60 yrs of age and got married at the age of 61 ?
Whats the difference ?
The difference is you will not have your own kids which shares your DNA and looks similar to you in this whole world.
Somethings in life should be done on time. Its now or never that would be my advise.
Life is not how you take it life is how you live it!
Destiny plays important role but courage has always won the game.
The painter who discriminate by others could have stand alone and fight for their rights rather than hiding their art from world.
If I’m wrong don’t upvote!

David S. thread (how hate perishes)

David S. · Mar 1, 2019

This response is very unhelpful. You just listed your accomplishments then added a bunch of randos. I’m 38, and I feel the same way. Although I thought no one would ever marry me, then I joined OKCupid, fully invested myself in the process and boom, met my wife. She is my biggest cheerleader, I am my harshest critic.
Unfortunately (in my mind), she is very successful in her career as an architect and makes boatloads of money, I am a writer and I feel like I am the bridesmaid, never the bride when it comes to job interviews. I wish I could provide some sort of wise wisdom, but I am as lost as you are.

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Mar 1, 2019

David, I would like to write something in response, but I can’t. I just don’t get your point. Anyway, thank you for taking the time. Good to hear that you have a cheerleader and that it’s your wife. That’s great!

Indecent (mean) comment by David S. deleted (either by Quora Moderation or by that dude himself).

Lukasz Laniecki · Original Author · Mar 1, 2019

Some read it and see advice, some read it and can’t see shit. That’s the way it is. Call me any name you want. It doesn’t work with someone like me. Maybe I’m too big of an asshole. Have you thought about that?

Obscene comment by David S. deleted (either by Quora Moderation or by that dude himself).

Reading (since my last diary entry):

Facing Unpleasant Facts: Narrative Essays by George Orwell (30 min, on scribd app).

The Writing Life by Annie Dillard (20 min, on scribd app). Abandoned it.

Music for this writing session: Coffee Table Jazz (playlist on spotify)