[ 3 min read ]
Diary of an artist, Sunday, March 17, 2019
Woke up 3:30 am
I guess the majority of people wouldn’t call me a successful human being. Why?
What would need to happen so that people would see me as a successful human being?
I would need to appear in certain places, be interviewed, be called this or that (a discovery of a decade, a genius, the most valued or valuable artist, the most influential person in whatever year or of whatever space, a Top Writer, the person of the year, the 30 under 30, 40 under 40, 50 under 50, or something like that), or at least have the attributes of a successful person (the things those who are viewed as successful human beings by the majority have), or something to show for it (all your years on earth — what it is that you actually achieved in those years? are you respected? are you well known in your community? do you have power or influence? do you have college education? do you have authority? did you win any awards? do you have a certain status?).
Or, are you just the person upon seeing whom people will say “Oh, that weirdo! Yes, we know him / her. Only he / she thinks he / she is successful or doing the right thing. Nobody else. Nobody cares about his / her definition of success and weird life philosophy. Actually it pisses me off. I mean, we know what it means to be successful in this world, don’t we? And we’ve been working hard to get it, the success. So right now we don’t want anyone telling us success is something else. Nobody cares what he / she thinks or does. The only thing this person achieved so far is the reputation of a weirdo, so that should tell you something.”
Notice that in the past there were many examples when, after many years, people concluded that the person whom they for so many years considered a weirdo actually was genius, and they started to consider that person one of the most brilliant and successful human beings who ever walked this earth. Which doesn’t mean we changed the way we view success. We (the majority) still, after such realization, treat the conventional success as the only true measure of success and we want this particular kind of success for ourselves and our loved ones. Because most of us care what other people think and say about us and our loved ones.
Reading (since my last diary entry):
Fire in the Belly: The Life and Times of David Wojnarowicz (40 min, on scribd app).
Facing Unpleasant Facts: Narrative Essays by George Orwell (40 min, on scribd app).
Audiobooks (since my last diary entry):
Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari (20 min, on scribd app). Second reading.
YouTube videos and movies (since my last diary entry):
The Pacific Guadalcanal/Leckie (on HBO Go) Finished it.
Music for this writing session: Coffee Table Jazz (playlist on spotify)