[ 3 min read ]
I think someone played a massive prank on us. As a matter of fact it’s probably the biggest, most hilarious prank ever and it will stay this way. Who played this prank on us? I have no idea, but here is one idea of how it could have happened.
A bunch of giant pranksters somewhere in the universe (probably with gazillions of subscribers on SpaceTube or WeeeTube and the greatest number of views) who busy themselves with watching the Earth (and especially us, proud species who called themselves human beings; of course the name ‘species’ is also something only we use, we invented this name; so these giant pranksters, these ‘its’, these creatures — heck, we invented that word too, … I give up), anyway “they” busy themselves with watching the Earth as if it was The Truman Show. I guess I’ll have to live with the fact that whenever we attempt to tell some story about the cosmos and its other inhabitants there’s always this dilemma that the words (the language) we use to describe it are only our way to describe it, and only we understand what we’re talking about (only we know what those words mean).
Anyway, a bunch of giant pranksters somewhere in the universe busy themselves with watching the Earth as if it was The Truman Show. But before they started they had this brilliant idea for this hilarious prank — a prank of all pranks.
Sorry for using our language, but I’m afraid I have no choice if I want to finish this story.
So one of them (giant creatures) went:
„How about we make those erect creatures who think they’re the smartest take enormous pleasure in something disgusting and believe that it’s “normal” / or “human”? So we’d need to make it natural for them. If it’s natural they won’t object. Of course, we could make them take enormous pleasure in just looking at each other, touching their faces or necks, or even kissing each other on their lips, but it would be boring. Besides, that’s something we enjoy.”
“So what’s the idea then?”, asked curiously another giant prankster. “You said we should make them take enormous pleasure in something disgusting. Like what?”
[The giant creature who started it — full of passion, like a visionary proposing some new idea] “Like licking the parts they use to…, you know”
[All of them — like a choir, bewilderment on their faces] Their anuses?
[The giant creature who started it — mischievously, bearing resemblance of an excited child about to play a prank on someone] “Yes!”
[All of them — like a choir, their faces almost wild, eyes and mouths wide open) “Aaaaa, that’s hilarious!!!”
[They all are laughing out loud — ha, ha, ha]
[All of them again — like a choir, with distinct anticipation in their voices and on their faces] “What else? What else?”
The giant creature who started it [continues in the said manner] “Like taking each other’s other private parts in their mouths or sticking tongues in them and swallowing all kinds of body fluids”
All of them (like a choir, their faces again almost wild, eyes and mouths wide open) “Aaaaa, that’s hilarious too!!!”
[They all are laughing out even louder — ha, ha, ha, ha, ha]
[This giant mass laughter interrupted by the giant creature who started it, who continues in the manner of a passionate startup founder] “Not only that. Let’s make them love that so much that they will be willing to do all kinds of crazy things only to be able to do this dumb thing!”
[They all start to roll on the floor laughing, some even starting to feel pain in their stomachs.]