What if all of this is bullshit? | 699
The living proof | 697

The X factor | 698

[ 3 min read ]

Diary of an artist, Tuesday, July 16, 2019

#698 (countdown)


Copy of Copy of Copy of Adulthood smooth& tasty.

Woke up 5:15 am

Last week I wrote a piece about the evolution of my writing. The evolution of my writing is also the evolution of my thinking. If I can see that the way I write changed, it also means that the way I think changed. To me it’s obvious, but maybe to some people it isn’t.

A thing like thinking couldn’t evolve were it not even touched. Or, it would take by far more time for something like thinking to evolve. Were it not for the fact that I write each (think each day) the evolution of my thinking would be slow.

I think it’s the case of those who don’t write and who don’t create anything (the non-creators). The evolution of their thinking is slow. I guess that more often than not it is too slow. Too slow to change anything in their lives. Too slow to show, be noticeable in their lifetime. They have certain beliefs and attitudes and they don’t change much. Just a tiny bit. Something nobody would even notice. Such change is like a tiny movement of a filmed object which, when it occurs, we can’t see it. We will be able to notice it when we play the recording in fast motion, or when we used time lapse (which, basically, is the same as playing the recording in fast motion). That’s when the tiny movement of our sleeping dog’s ear or nose becomes visible to us. If we played the recording in normal speed we wouldn’t notice anything. Which means that the change was too small and that it happened too slow for our eye. That’s the case of most people’s thinking patterns, their habitual way of looking at the world, and their beliefs. Their entire thinking process. The changes in their thinking that happen in their lifetime are so small they’re negligible.

I would say that most non-creators don’t have a prayer. They’ll die with their thinking patterns and attitudes from their early adulthood still in them. More or less — they’ll not change much. Maybe if someone gave them extra 200 years? Maybe then they would see the evolution of their thinking. Besides, their thinking, because it’s not actually being used (they usually rely on the wisdom of the mass, or their clan — instead of working on / developing their own), is highly influenced by the collective attitudes and thinking patterns of this mass / group of people they belong to. It doesn’t deviate much.

The other thing might be that I’m just talented. That I have a talent for evolving my thinking and that it’s nothing to do with the fact that I write and create things each day. But I doubt that talent is what it all boils down to. I see daily writing and creating as the X factor.

Music for this writing session: Max Richter (on spotify)