The living proof | 697
Such a fool I was | 696

We hide our so called flaws (or issues) from those who hide theirs from us

[ 2 min read ]

People who believe that certain things should not happen in people’s lives (in people’s families) are also the people who gradually bought into this bullshit notion that there is such a thing as a normal life or a normal family.

To me the whole fear in the majority of us that other people (especially our friends, relatives, neighbors, coworkers) might discover something about us (our lives, our families) is absurd. Of course we worry that what they might discover could show us in a bad light. Or that it would expose us, take the lid off our weirdness.

So strongly are we convinced that certain things should never happen in anyone’s life. And we are ashamed or embarrassed when they do or did happen.

Sometimes we also fear that such disclosure could put us and members of our families at a disadvantage. That certain people might want to use these facts against us. Which, of course, can happen.

So on the one hand this fear is legitimate, but on the other hand it is absurd (dumb). It is dumb because those who will judge us (those whose judgement we fear), or who might use certain facts about us against us also have a lot of so called issues — inconvenient, troublesome facts about them or their families waiting to be revealed.

So we hide certain facts about ourselves and our families in fear that someone else (someone who also hides something — certain facts about themselves and their families) might learn about them. Because we all want to project normalcy. The normalcy which is our collective idea. Very, very dumb idea.

Even when we think that our clan (family) is so called normal family we never know the whole story. Why? Because, as I said, even family members hide certain facts about themselves from other family members in fear that they will be judged. Even parents hide facts about themselves from their children. And vice versa also.

The fact that this fear exists in people, that most people believe that certain facts from their lives are better kept secret, and that certain people believe that certain facts from other people’s lives can be used to expose them, discredit them in the eyes of their circle, community or the general public (if it’s some politician or businessman, or celebrity) shows us A/ how much we all believe that the distinction between so called normal people / families (without so called flaws, weirdnesses and unpleasant facts) and those who can’t be called normal really exists, B/ how we all take for granted the things which our culture treats as normal and weird — that most of us will not question it, and C/ the naiveté of those who believe that they and their families are normal (without so called flaws) and thus they can expose others.